I didn't know until a few years ago that I had a poor Father/God image. My overriding memory of my Dad was anger and I was afraid of him. He never beat me, but I was a very tender hearted child, a very sensitive child. My mom said, "We never had to spank you, all we had to do was look at you and you were repentant." So I had this dad who was angry, and I didn't know why he was angry and I would try desperately to be this good little girl.
That translated into my image of Daddy God. I didn't have issues with Jesus, but Daddy God was just waiting to clobber me. And I was always trying to be good and I didn't know when I was going to mess up and get whacked by Daddy God. I was able to feel healing this weekend when someone else stood in for my dad and asked for my forgiveness and that just cleansed me.
My parents didn't call us names, but all my life I kept hearing this in my head, "You're not good enough, you're not adequate, you’re insufficient. Why in the world are you a pastor's wife? You don't play the piano, you don't lead the choir, you certainly don't lead the Sunday school, what are you doing there?" But God told me I was going to be a Pastor's wife, so I thought; it's His fault if I'm not good enough. This weekend I experienced healing from all of that.
KM - July, 2006