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I was labeled a homosexual... Now, I wake up every morning, close my eyes, and feel so blessed to have been a part of your Encounter ministry. Though it became very painful and I wanted to walk out and run from everything, as I have often done... It should be known that God did not leave my side. He promised to never leave me or forsake me, and he has surely kept His Word. Lately He has been speaking to me about letting go of the past... He told me that the new cannot come in until I am willing to lay down the past. I have found a lot of freedom in that. I had backslidden for quite a while, believing the lies of the enemy, as I often did, thinking I was unable to hear His voice since I left Him at the door when I left Teen Challenge. When in all actuality. I wouldn't be "still" long enough to hear His "still" voice speaking to me. I'm not in any way trying to say that it was OK for me to run from the ministry I was in (Teen Challenge), because honestly, I assure you the road I took has seemed much harder. I can tell you that He did use my weakness, which was running from everything. He met me where I least expected Him to -- at the Encounter. I had been running from everything for about 7 years. That weekend He made Himself clear to me. He said, "You don't have to run, I'm here to help you. I AM with you." And I believed Him for the first time! He is with me now. :) The sadness I'd felt for so long is turning to JOY in Christ. I now feel His spirit is upon me and He has anointed and qualified me to preach the Gospel of good tidings to the meek, the poor in spirit, and the afflicted. He is sending me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and to open the prison, and the eyes to those who are bound up. I will comfort all who mourn and grant joy to those overcome with sadness. So that they have an ornament of beauty instead of ashes. They will be anointed with oil of joy and praise instead of being heavy burdened with a failing spirit. I am given the ability to do all these things by the covering of His blood and by His name. I am a vessel, starting to own my testimony. But rather than choose to talk about the pain from the past, I desire to talk about the "now"; to look ahead at the future He has in store for me as I seek Him wholeheartedly. The Sunday of the Encounter I gave a little testimony for the first time. It had been a fear of mine for so long... That fear has now passed and has brought a confidence in my character that even I have noticed. It's amazing to see miracles like that happen in yourself! I had people come up to me that I used to go to school with, who had formerly labeled me as a homosexual. They too saw the Lord upon me -- and desired to talk with me. I felt closure to that lifestyle. The knowledge I have now IS my accountability. Another incident happened about three days after the Encounter. A close friend of mine who I've been working with at a restaurant had a heart attack and only had a couple hours to live. I prayed all the way to Lincoln that the Lord would keep him alive until I could get there. The Lord did that for me too. This man didn't have a relationship with the Lord -- I'd been informed. As I stood there with his hand in mine, I began to talk to him about the Lord. Some who were in the room tried to shut me up because no one wanted him to realize he was dying. A sister in Christ from Abundant Life just happened to be there, she went into the room with me, everyone else left. I asked him if I could pray for him, and he said yes. I began to pray in the Spirit for a healing, but nothing happened. He died hours later, but I believe the Lord was there as we interceded for him. Though he was heavily sedated and on life support, he still remembered me and said my name. He told me he loved me and that he was tired. I told him to rest and that I would sit there with him...so he did...he didn't wake up after that, but his spirit looked at rest. I trust that the Lord used me that day because he remembered me. And if he saw me, then he saw the Lord, because the Lord was in me. He then had a choice to make. I recognize that I am a child of God who is still being changed into His image. I pray that you would be blessed for all you have done for me in the name of Jesus! And know that I know -- that it is Written...(the Word) I have tasted of His peace...Also, my family is being restored. NOTHING COMPARES WITH HIM! HALLELUJAH! A disciple of His, JT |
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